Lower goals

I had a word with someone  I like  to think of as a coach.  We chat on a regular basis and he  encourages me in  lots of different ways.   I told him that I am not well.  Not really sick  but lacking in energy to run and thus getting more and more depressed. and that I had started the blog again... well I say blog.. it is a couple of lines a week, a suicide note in installments if you like.
He asked me 

"What's the issue? you just dont want to run? starting too fast or just no energy?
If its the latter you probably need to stroke your pussy some more and realise your a wonderful lovely funny bloke, as well as a massive unt of course...and it may take time...but you deserve this.
as Debbie Consani once wrote " your innapropriatness and an enthusiasm is what we love about you. " so BE fucking inapropriate. But revel in it, you've earnt it

I confessed that I don't want to run coz I am frightened about how shit I will be

Which elicited the response

"I think it’s good of you to tease out the act of self ending behaviour- it’s exciting to read yet disappointing in detail."

Which made me laugh out loud and then he suggested the following

"Equally I think that I might be able to offer something to be ignored and forgotten or considerd when you have a moment... or not of course.....: The best single thing that has occurred in the last few years was a massive lowering of targets. Not goals, but of day to day targets. This is a long term thing; it can  take years to accept it would help, Just not training too big or too hard; always measuring by how unfucked or fucked  you are afterwards,  not by how good you used to be.  That may see you consistantly go out and run to build up a base and show small, and very slow improvements. "

So after over a week of not running I went out and ran in the rain.

• Big pouring rain that makes you feel alive.
• Rain that soaks through the best waterproof jackets
• Rain that comes in great pouring  sheets that you can see for miles.
• Rain that runs down the road washing all before it
• Rain  that stops the hardest of birds from flying

I covered 10km.  I didn't switch the GPS watch on all the way. I didn't care what the time was. 

It didn't hurt... I ran all the way...and I didn't feel fucked afterwards

I then resolved to run every day...which was of course a mistake and not according to the lowering of targets.  WHAT A KNOB!

I will go out on  Tuesday and see how that goes.  no target,  just run for a bit.

Birthday weekend

Another poor running week.  Finally visted the Doctor who did took my blood pressure and ECG.  They panicked over my heart rate of 36.  So I am back for a series of blood tests and to the heart specialist for a heart exam. Got out with Ian and we are going to enter the Taunus Cup, a series of monthly 10km in the Taunus area.

Still struggling

Had a good start. Cooper test of 2.72km which is best yet. Did two 20km runs and a couple of morning sessions  by Thursday am. Then got hit by flu. Really bad sweating and lack of energy on Friday. Basically slept all day Friday and sweated so much that I was lying in pools of water.
Felt a bit better on Saturday...did a bit of gardening on Sunday.
Might be carb flu so will try to address with fat next week. I will also get an appointment at the doctors on Friday.

Struggling

Still struggling to get going. Gonna try and do a minimum of 5km a day just to get the hang of it again.

I found these two videos interesting. They both answer the same question. Where does the fat go?

A shorter jokey one

https://youtu.be/C8ialLlcdcw

A longer more scientific one

https://youtu.be/vuIlsN32WaE

The secret is to breath guys.

False Start repeated

Got off to a good start last week.
On Monday I did a Cooper test and achieved 2.64km, my best yet.
Then Tuesday morning I did 10 minutes on the stairs and in the evening a very good 20km run with Fatih.
By Wednesday morning, however, I was feeling worn out.  Wednesday evening I only managed 5km. I have rested since then.
This bug I have that is sapping my energy is proving difficult to shift.
I feel better today, so we go again.

False start

This week has been somewhat of a waste.  I have been feeling very tired and lacking in any energy. My weight is piling making me  feel worse. Just a few very poor runs in the past seven days.

Today, Sunday, I can barely motivate myself to move. Even walking up the stairs was an effort. I spent the day in PJs and sorted and stamped my books.

No idea why I am feeling so bad. Gonna try and get started again this week.

It starts here

Seven days later and I went out on slushly trails. Three snicker bars, 30km & 2:52.12 (5:44/km) later I was done. Things were ok  up to around 20km.  Then my thighs started burning.  It was only 10km  to go so I went on to make sure the endurance was built up. The 10km splits were 57:35, 55:49 and 58:43,  so we can see that there was a definite slow down. I will do a lot of foam rolling over the next few days to ease the legs off. Next week  I am going to try for a 36km run at the same speed.

                                                    I WILL GET IT BACK!